Sabtu, 20 September 2008


Recovering Emotionally From Divorce

By Joseph Devine


Divorce is many different things to many different people. After everything is said and done, and the smoke from the battlefield clears, how will you recover? Many people feel as though they cannot go on after marriage has been destroyed. The amount of emotional, financial, and physical investment leads to devastating losses.

The issue with recovery is that it varies with respect to each individual as well as the specific circumstances of the divorce. Being able to move on is dependent upon how amiable the divorce process was.

For some couples, emotions fly about with such ferocity and passionate fervor that the recovery process is very rocky. Some individuals are so emotionally invested that they feel as if the spouse has somehow died after the divorce has taken place.

Others feel so hurt from the breakup that they are simply angry; angry at the situation, angry at the spouse, and angry that they have to go on without the person they thought was the love of their life. Whatever feelings you might be having, if you are going through a divorce or have recently divorced, those feeling are in every way normal.

The important to understand about these situations is not so much that you are feeling those feelings, but understanding how you would normally react to them versus how you choose to react to them. Once the grieving has taken place, and you are, perhaps ready to move one, it is very important to take some time to reflect on the past relationship.

While reflecting on that relationship, you must be honest with yourself in your assessment of what happened. It takes two people to get married and the same two people to get divorced (save the extenuating circumstances).

Consider the areas of the relationship where you think you were wrong. Identify both your strengths and your weaknesses and use them to your advantage. Really work on your weaknesses and try to see if you can change. This will only make you a better person.

Once you have done these exercises, and you have forgiven your ex-partner for his or her wrongs, it may be appropriate to start looking for another mate, armed with the new lessons you have learned from the last one.

The chances of leading a successful relationship in the future, with these new lessons, are even greater than when you didn't know them before. If you would like more information regarding divorce, visit http://divorcelawyerssandiego.com/san_diego_divorce_attorney_frequently_asked_questions.aspx

Joseph Devine

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